We live in a culture that promotes independence and even in our grief experience we often think we can process our losses and adjust to the new reality we face on our own. In fact, often reaching out for help can be perceived as being weak. In reality, research tells us nothing is further from the truth.
Benefits of Social Support.
Grief is a very individual experience; not only can each persons’ loss affect them differently, but each loss has unique aspects that affect how it impacts our lives. Dr Alan Wolfelt indicates that mourning, the outward expression of our grief, is a shared social response to loss. “The empathy of others allows us to express our natural and necessary grief outside of ourselves.” (Wolfelt, 2019) He goes on to explain that when we tell our stories of love and loss, we are taking a step towards healing our heart. When social support is felt to be positive by the person who is grieving, it helps protect against depression and longer lasting pervasive feelings of grief (Breen, 2021). Positive, strong social and emotional support can help you cope with more difficult situations, and improve your mental, physical, and emotional health (Caccitore et al, 2021). Support is positive just you can listen to the person who is grieving n and give them space to talk about their experience and feelings without judgement. Often family, friends or colleagues provide this sense of positive support. However, some wish to also find additional sources of support outside this social circle.
Different types of Grief Support.
Grief support can be also be obtained in both a group setting or an individual 1-on-1 setting. Groups may be of several types; open or closed in nature. Open groups are ongoing and meet on a regular time and day and members can drop in at any time. Often a specific topic may be introduced as part of that session and they are often facilitated by peers who have also experienced loss in their lives. Closed groups have a set number of sessions, a limited number of group members and do not allow additional members after the second week, which promotes a flow of topics throughout the group experience. This type of group is often run by trained facilitators.
However, groups are not for everyone. While some people find benefit in hearing that others have a similar experience to their own, others may find it to difficult or even traumatic to hear about others peoples loss experience. Having a discussion with the group facilitator before you attend, will ensure this is the best fit for your situation. If a group setting is not the best option for you, seek out other sources of 1-on-1 grief support from a qualified organization or individual.
When do I need additional support.
Most people navigate through grief with the help of their loved ones. However, some people need extra support. Feelings of grief “can be more complicated when the loss is sudden or unexpected, frightening, the result of an accident or disaster, or the result of a crime. (CMHA, 2014)” In addition, other factors can impact how an individual processes loss including experience of mental health illness, a lack of social supports, or difficulties with relationships. The Community Mental Health Association outlines several tips for helping yourself in your loss experience. If you are finding it challenging dealing with the impact of grief in your life, reach out for help.
In summary, positive social and emotional support has several benefits for those who are grieving. Some people adjust well to the loss they have experienced utilizing their friends, colleagues, and family to support them and integrate the loss into their life. For others who find this transition and the processing of the loss experience more difficult, options exist for both one on one or group support. Check out the resources tab of this website for additional information.
Articles Reviewed for Blog Post
Breen, L. (2021). Harnessing social support for bereavement now and beyond the COVID-19 pandemic. Palliative Care and Social Practice. V. 13; January-December 2021. Doi.org/10.1177/2632352420988009.
Cacciatore J, Thieleman K, Fretts R, Jackson LB. (2021). What is good grief support? Exploring the actors and actions in social support after traumatic grief. PLoS One. May 27;16(5):e0252324. doi: 10.1371/journal.pone.0252324. PMID: 34043716; PMCID: PMC8158955.
Community Mental Health Association (2014). Grieving. Retrieved June 27, 2023 from https://ontario.cmha.ca/documents/grieving/
Wolfelt, A. (2019). Solitude or social support in grief: Why we need both. TAPS: May 2, 2019. Retrieved June 27, 2023 from https://www.taps.org/articles/25-1/solitude-social-support-balance.
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